The Feeling of Never

Never is an awful word when you are thinking about your dreams.  It is a word that fills you with hopelessness, despair and depression.  It is also a word that should be completely cut out of our vocabulary.

Logically, I know that we will be debt-free some day, barring any unforeseen circumstances.  The path we are on right now is a phenomenal one and we aren't even tapping all of our resources.  The spreadsheets look great and the more I play with the numbers, the nicer they look.

And yet that feeling of "never" is still there.  I still find myself discouraged some days thinking that we will never get there.  We will never be debt-free.  We will never achieve our dreams.  So why try?

The hopelessness is horrible, but even worse, it's detrimental to my cause.  I would venture to say that the feeling of never is one that stops many dead in their tracks, destroying their dreams with its self-fulfilling prophecy.

It is distorted thinking not based in any reality and is fueled by our culture.  When talking to friends about becoming debt-free, their doubt is obvious.  When submerged in media, the overall concensus is that debt is just part of life, get used to it.  Everything Dave Ramsey preaches sounds good, but it just does not feel possible some days.

On those days, I play with the numbers.  I try to recognize that my thinking is distorted and that my feelings are not rational.  I look through the spreadsheets, even create some of my own.  I play with the calculator on and off throughout the day, varying circumstances from worst case to best case.  I aim to see only the reality and shut out the negative thinking.

Reading the success stories of others and ignoring the cultural norms helps me to see that we are striving for a radical life and thus I need to surround myself with radical thinkers.  Let the rest doubt and scoff.  But the numbers are showing me that never is not the reality.

The feeling of never has no place within my walls.