Priorities can be a real struggle for me. Before I had children, I was always the woman who did it all. I thrived on being busy and stressed and sleep was not a necessity for me. It was fun. It was fulfilling. But I was young and only had myself to think of.Now that I am a mother and housewife, my work is 100% focused on my family. Suddenly, doing it all is just not possible. Stress can overtake me when I wake up in the morning and realize I need to clean the house, work from home, blog, cook gourmet meals from scratch frugally, whip up some homemade cleaners and detergents, fit in 30 minutes of exercise and 30 minutes of prayer and meditation, all while being the best and most present mother and wife I can be. It's just not realistic.
Priorities are incredibly important when it comes to achieving any major goal and for that reason, I really want to start by going through mine. Finances and frugal living is an entire life focus and mental shift. One needs to ensure that they are not going to burn themselves out or sacrifice more important areas of life which is why I call up my favorite, and I feel most accurate, depiction of what my priorities as a woman should be:
Proverbs 31 (NASB version):
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evilI love that it mentions marriage first as that is the heart of the family. Putting my marriage at the tippy top is very important in this area especially as we need to work as a team, even through the frustrating sacrifices and moments of failure.
All the days of her life.
Providing quality, healthy food for my family used to be quite a strength for me. I would make everything from scratch, all organic, and make sure that my children were offered a healthy variety to choose from. This is an area in which I have grown lax. While I know that I cook more from scratch than the average person, my goal is not to compare myself to average, but rather to compare where I am now to the best that I can be. I know I can do better here as I have in the past. Recipes and menu planning will move higher on my list of priorities. This also helps save money. Focus here is clearly a win-win.
13 She looks for wool and flax
And works with her [h]hands [i]in delight.
14 She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
15 She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And [j]portions to her maidens.
*Sigh* Work-from-home mom is exhausting. It's a struggle. Screaming children at your feet while you pound away at a computer is nothing short of stressful. But making money is a very important piece of the financial puzzle. I have income sources that I can tap much deeper with proper scheduling and focus. I'm starting to think it's time for a daily work schedule to keep me dedicated while also not shifting me to my natural workaholic state.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From [k]her earnings she plants a vineyard.
Exercise, exercise, exercise! Just 30 minutes three times a week will catapult my energy and make all the other areas so doable. I used to exercise every day and my children would join me. My daughter is slowly turning into a Yogi all of her own accord and my son could run and bike for hours. With their help, I hope to make this one work. I've jotted it down to add to my schedule right along with working.
17 She girds [l]herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
18 She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
I can always do better here, but for now, I feel as though I am doing all that I am called for and able. I have my areas of ministry and my husband and I have our specific amounts that we donate. I will use this as another area of fuel because the less we owe, the more we can give.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her [m]hands grasp the spindle.
20 She [n]extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
Second-hand! Scarlet and fine linens certainly do not need to come from the Gap. We are very blessed to have just enough clothing. We keep warm and have fashionable attire when it is necessary, but we need no more than that. I feel that clothing through shopping second-hand is definitely an area of success for me at this time.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
He is an amazingly hard worker that makes all of our financial plans possible. In this area, I will continue to focus on prayers and gratitude for our blessings.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
Work, work, work. Schedule, schedule, schedule.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And [o]supplies belts to the [p]tradesmen.
At this moment, I look at this as taking care of myself, especially for my family. Setting my priorities straight with all the other items in this passage will definitely make that work.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the [q]future.
26 She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the [r]teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Idleness has never been my problem. It's actually the exact opposite. I need to relax. But having poor priorities can be just as detrimental as being idle.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Every piece of this should be for my family. I need to ensure that my focus stays on why we are doing this and does not shift away to selfish gains. Remembering the fruits at the end of the sacrifices will be the fuel that gets me through. My family is always my number one priority.
28 Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29 “Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Prayer and honesty. Prayer has gotten me through times that I never thought I could imagine, yet when things are going fine or even when life gets to busy, it slowly slips away. This goes on the schedule right above everything else. There is never any downside to more prayer. Amazing things happen in life when it becomes the focus. I know this, and yet it still slips. Such an easy and important task to accomplish with children too! And honesty is huge in this area. Deceiving myself or my family will only aid in failure. We need to be completely honest with every area of our life in order to make our financial dreams a reality.
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who [s]fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her the [t]product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.
After going through this and spending time thinking of each area, it seems possible. I do not need to be super woman, I just need to keep correct focus on what matters most. With prayer, taking care of myself and remembering why I am doing it, I know that we will get there.
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