While I can happily report that my motivation to earn extra income has been very high lately, my motivation to tighten the budget is certainly lacking. The past two months, I have not even glanced at the budgets my husband has made, I have a very loose idea of how much money I have spent on groceries, and I have been all for eating out whenever it's convenient.
While my husband always ensures that we are within budget and making sure we are not living above our means, I have certainly not been playing my part in finding ways to save in order to put extra money towards debt.
I've been enjoying living comfortably and conveniently and have not had any motivation to change that.
At first, I felt guilt any time I thought about it. With each swipe of a debit card at a fast food chain and every impulse buy off the grocery store shelves, I was plagued with the feeling of failure. Keeping my goals at the forefront of my mind has made working more hours much easier, but it has not fueled budget cuts. Instead it just fuels the guilt of not striving for those cuts.
But I'm starting to relax a little. Guilt will definitely get me no where. In fact, it tends to have an opposite effect. I grab something that wasn't on the grocery list, feel guilt with no desire to change, then think "eh, I might as well get ice cream too."
I know we could do better with the budget and saving money but at this point, it just isn't high on my priority list. I want to relax and be comfortable (obviously still staying within budget) and enjoy living while we try to pay down the debt. When I have the energy and feel the motivation, I can definitely do an amazing job at finding extra money, but right now the numbers look pretty good. I'd rather exert the energy on making more money doing things I enjoy than overly sacrificing and pouring over frugal cookbooks to save it.
The balance is definitely in saving and making but there is only so much time in a day. Right now, I feel motivated to make more so I will let that motivation guide me, guilt free. Maybe next month I'll be a little more motivated to focus on cutting the budget.
Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts
Complacency
I'm going to be honest. It's really easy to get comfortable. It's really easy to lose that "gazelle-like" focus. It's really easy to just be complacent.
I know what I want in the long run. I focus myself on it. I long for it and feel the motivation of it. But then I look at my charts and see that we are making headway. We are getting somewhere in paying off the debt. So what's the big deal if I don't work today? Or if we go out to eat? Or if I skimp on menu planning or go nuts at Goodwill?
The times I struggle are the times when I cannot answer those questions. What is the big deal? We're making it. We're paying more than the minimum payments. We are in much better shape than we were a year ago.
Those thoughts are poison. They are destroying my focus and drive and I can't seem to shake them. Even when I want to use the extra money I make for a more immediate purchase, I still can't seem to muster up the drive that I wish I had.
It always starts so easy, doesn't it? You start with a plan, see the dream and go full steam. Then a few weeks in, it gets hard. The steam runs down and you are sitting with the dream and a feeling of hopelessness and discouragement.
As a whole, we're still on the right track. But right now I am focusing on how to get that steam back up and keep it up. How do I fuel myself daily to make the right choices? How do I push through those poisonous thoughts and do what I know is right?
Lots of questions in this post as I work through these thoughts. I'm still looking for the solutions. I want the intense focus. I need to work on getting it back.
I know what I want in the long run. I focus myself on it. I long for it and feel the motivation of it. But then I look at my charts and see that we are making headway. We are getting somewhere in paying off the debt. So what's the big deal if I don't work today? Or if we go out to eat? Or if I skimp on menu planning or go nuts at Goodwill?
The times I struggle are the times when I cannot answer those questions. What is the big deal? We're making it. We're paying more than the minimum payments. We are in much better shape than we were a year ago.
Those thoughts are poison. They are destroying my focus and drive and I can't seem to shake them. Even when I want to use the extra money I make for a more immediate purchase, I still can't seem to muster up the drive that I wish I had.
It always starts so easy, doesn't it? You start with a plan, see the dream and go full steam. Then a few weeks in, it gets hard. The steam runs down and you are sitting with the dream and a feeling of hopelessness and discouragement.
As a whole, we're still on the right track. But right now I am focusing on how to get that steam back up and keep it up. How do I fuel myself daily to make the right choices? How do I push through those poisonous thoughts and do what I know is right?
Lots of questions in this post as I work through these thoughts. I'm still looking for the solutions. I want the intense focus. I need to work on getting it back.
Emotional Kick in the Butt
I have been such a slacker lately. I haven't been living as frugally as I would like, but on top of that, I have hardly worked at all.
Life sure likes to present small, frustrating challenges that are easy to use as an excuse. I was hit with another small cold, plus my TMJ is acting up horribly, leading to some pretty bad headaches. Headaches plus computer work equals nightmare. It does not make it excusable though. I could have forced myself to work through it, but I chose the easy route.
But a couple of days ago, I happened across a blog of a family living the exact dream that my family is working towards. Reading through their stories and seeing the way they live today really pulled at every fiber of my soul.
Each word I read jumped off the screen like a smack in the face, screaming at me to get moving. Pay off the debt so we can live the life we are working towards, no matter what life throws our way.
When it comes to long term goals, it can be so easy to be rerouted by immediate gratification. Losing sight of the big picture is almost guaranteed to happen if you don't have methods of constant reminders. The graphs on the refrigerator help, but they are factual and do not pull at my emotional heartstrings in order to push me through the harder times.
So, along with reading my favorite blogs regularly, I have also decided to put up some pictures of our long term vision. I need to keep my emotions fueled in the right direction. I know what I want in the next five years and I know how desperately I want it. Visual reminders of our five year plan hovering in front of me when I would rather sit on the couch instead of work or when I want to opt for McDonald's instead of a homemade dinner will reign me back in, stunt the need for instant gratification and keep me on the right track.
Goals for the remainder of the week:
- Make some money to make up for all the I have been slacking on (meaning a couple extra hours of work even when I don't want to).
- Skip the Taco Bell craving that has been plaguing me all week.
- Print some visual reminders of our long term goals and plaster them on the fridge and in my wallet, right in front of my debit card.
Emotions are tricky, but they are controllable.
Life sure likes to present small, frustrating challenges that are easy to use as an excuse. I was hit with another small cold, plus my TMJ is acting up horribly, leading to some pretty bad headaches. Headaches plus computer work equals nightmare. It does not make it excusable though. I could have forced myself to work through it, but I chose the easy route.
But a couple of days ago, I happened across a blog of a family living the exact dream that my family is working towards. Reading through their stories and seeing the way they live today really pulled at every fiber of my soul.
Each word I read jumped off the screen like a smack in the face, screaming at me to get moving. Pay off the debt so we can live the life we are working towards, no matter what life throws our way.
When it comes to long term goals, it can be so easy to be rerouted by immediate gratification. Losing sight of the big picture is almost guaranteed to happen if you don't have methods of constant reminders. The graphs on the refrigerator help, but they are factual and do not pull at my emotional heartstrings in order to push me through the harder times.
So, along with reading my favorite blogs regularly, I have also decided to put up some pictures of our long term vision. I need to keep my emotions fueled in the right direction. I know what I want in the next five years and I know how desperately I want it. Visual reminders of our five year plan hovering in front of me when I would rather sit on the couch instead of work or when I want to opt for McDonald's instead of a homemade dinner will reign me back in, stunt the need for instant gratification and keep me on the right track.
Goals for the remainder of the week:
- Make some money to make up for all the I have been slacking on (meaning a couple extra hours of work even when I don't want to).
- Skip the Taco Bell craving that has been plaguing me all week.
- Print some visual reminders of our long term goals and plaster them on the fridge and in my wallet, right in front of my debit card.
Emotions are tricky, but they are controllable.
Self-Motivation
Some people are really great at self-motivation while others cannot do much without an outside source forcing their hand. Personally, I think I am a pretty good self-motivator. Whenever I have had a conventional job in which someone was conducting the majority of my day, I tend to be unhappy and frustrated, quickly losing any motivation. But when I am allowed the freedom whether through commission jobs or just self-employment, my motivation can skyrocket if I am passionate.
Pretty much all of the work I do now is 100% self-motivated. I work independently and rarely have outside imposed deadlines. As a writer, I stick to areas that I can completely control. I am even hesitant to pursue a publisher for my books as I worry about all the deadlines and such that must come with it. The transcribing jobs I perform are always on my time and I have actively avoided anything other than such.
On the whole, this works great for me.
But then there are those moments when the passion slips. When I don't feel like writing. When getting out of debt seems less appealing compared to instant gratification. When transcribing sounds laborious and Pinterest looks oh so sweet.
These are the times that self-motivated income is not so great. Over the past couple of weeks, life happened. Illnesses and appointments and car searches and housework and so on and so forth. During these times, working and selling slip far away from my mind until it all settles down and I look at my numbers.
That is when the self-loathing comes in. I begin to feel hopeless, like debt will forever exist. I begin to feel like a failure, first for getting into this mess and then for not having the discipline to get out.
But I have learned to allow those feelings...just for a little while. I sit and sip my coffee, just feeling. By just letting myself be with those feelings instead of fueling them, attacking them, running from them or being defined by them, they dissipate all on their own and within an hour or two, the motivation is back.
The debt feels beatable.
The work feels doable.
The income feels attainable.
I feel successful.
The self-motivation returns and I hope that life goes in a way which allows me to keep it, at least long enough to make another substantial dent in those frighteningly large numbers.
But for right now, I am only going to focus on today and what I can do to save and earn. Just today. That is all I need.
Pretty much all of the work I do now is 100% self-motivated. I work independently and rarely have outside imposed deadlines. As a writer, I stick to areas that I can completely control. I am even hesitant to pursue a publisher for my books as I worry about all the deadlines and such that must come with it. The transcribing jobs I perform are always on my time and I have actively avoided anything other than such.
On the whole, this works great for me.
But then there are those moments when the passion slips. When I don't feel like writing. When getting out of debt seems less appealing compared to instant gratification. When transcribing sounds laborious and Pinterest looks oh so sweet.
These are the times that self-motivated income is not so great. Over the past couple of weeks, life happened. Illnesses and appointments and car searches and housework and so on and so forth. During these times, working and selling slip far away from my mind until it all settles down and I look at my numbers.
That is when the self-loathing comes in. I begin to feel hopeless, like debt will forever exist. I begin to feel like a failure, first for getting into this mess and then for not having the discipline to get out.
But I have learned to allow those feelings...just for a little while. I sit and sip my coffee, just feeling. By just letting myself be with those feelings instead of fueling them, attacking them, running from them or being defined by them, they dissipate all on their own and within an hour or two, the motivation is back.
The debt feels beatable.
The work feels doable.
The income feels attainable.
I feel successful.
The self-motivation returns and I hope that life goes in a way which allows me to keep it, at least long enough to make another substantial dent in those frighteningly large numbers.
But for right now, I am only going to focus on today and what I can do to save and earn. Just today. That is all I need.
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