I Have Arrived

Much like many others, I grew up surrounded by the debt culture.  House payments were necessary.  Credit cards were normal.  Student loans were a must-have.

I remember in the early years of our marriage, still quite young and insanely ignorant, I looked at debt as a status symbol.  The backwards mentality the culture had drilled into me: 

"The more credit you have, the more successful you must be."

Platinum credit cards, two car payments, the biggest whooping mortgage you can pull off.  Any time we were approved for a credit limit, it made me thrilled.  I felt as though I had finally arrived.  I had credit.  Thousands and thousands of dollars of credit.  I felt rich.

The worst part is that my thinking wasn't even corrected by those around me, but encouraged and fueled.  If you could make your minimum payments on all your debt every month, then keep it rolling.  I didn't even look at all that debt as a lot.  It was normal.  In fact, it was well below normal, so in my mind, we had some work to do: build more debt!

Looking back, I cannot believe how insane it sounds.  I can't believe I ever fell for it.  I can't believe people all around me still are.

Things turned around for me one night, sitting at the computer one evening and the internet was incredibly slow.  So slow that my boredom left me perusing the bookshelf like it was the 90s.  I happened across my husband's stash of fiscally responsible books and Dave Ramsey's cover looked appealing so I started reading.

My life changed.

It wasn't overnight.  The ideas were planted and they made sense.  My eyes were open but my lifestyle remained the same.  I still felt normal.  I didn't want to feel broke.  Still in denial, it took me a couple of years of slow habit changes and occasional math problems to finally reach where I am at today. 

We are broke.  Not the can't-pay-our-monthly-bills kind of broke.  Not the we'll-lose-our-house-any-day kind of broke.  Blessing which I thank God for everyday.  But we are the we-owe-more-than-we're-worth broke. 

So I am officially living like a broke person and I have never felt more excited. 

Finally, I feel like I have arrived.